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Pregnancy number 2

Posted on: October 10, 2010

So, pregnancy number 2 progressed well until the 32nd week when I began having symptoms of cholestasis again. To cut a long story short, our tiny baby, Molly, was born days later on 22nd September, 2008.

She weighed only 1700g, and spent the next 6 weeks in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. These were the hardest weeks of my life so far. We were lucky enough that Molly’s life was never in any danger, despite her prematurity. She was really only in hospital to grow and to learn how to feed. But being separated from my baby went against every instinct for me, and I was an emotional wreck until she came home – I felt guilt that my body had let her down, shock at the abrupt end to the pregnancy, grief from the loss of the pregnancy and birth experience I had expected, and incredible sadness that my baby was being cared for by strangers and not by me. I also felt completely torn between wanting to spend time at the hospital with Molly, and wanting to spend time with Tiernan at home being ‘normal’. It was a really horrible time, and we were just overjoyed when Molly finally came home on 31st October, 2008. At last I felt that I had earned the congratulations we had received for Molly’s birth. At last we could get on with our lives together.

Molly on the day she came home

I allowed myself a significant recovery period (about 4 months I think) before getting stuck into my leftover uni assignments – I was incredibly lucky to have very kind and understanding teachers and school principal on my final prac, as well as a supportive mentor at uni. At the time Molly was born I still had 2 weeks left of my prac to do, but they passed me anyway, for which I will be forever grateful. All that was left was to complete the assignments and I would be a qualified teacher. I knuckled down and eventually got to graduate in April 2008 – after 7 years of part-time study and after gaining a husband and two children along the way, I was so relieved to finally achieve my lifelong dream of becoming a teacher.

After a  rather difficult start to life, Molly had every excuse for being a rather difficult baby! Sometimes she would just scream and scream and scream, and there was nothing I could do to help her, except cuddle her and wait for her to calm down. I am so grateful that I had an ‘easy’ baby first, because even ‘easy’ babies are difficult at times, and this prepared me for Molly! I don’t think I would have had the confidence or the ability to put things into perspective if it had been my first time around. Because Molly was premmie, the first 6 months of her life seemed to drag on forever, because it really took 8 months for her to be like a 6-month-old. But after 8 months, she caught up much more quickly. She also stopped being quite so difficult, and became a very charming, often feisty, 1-year-old. By this time I was pregnant AGAIN!

1 Response to "Pregnancy number 2"

[…] have written about my pregnancy with Molly before, but skipped a lot of the detail. This is a more thorough […]

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