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Thinking, thinking…

Posted on: June 13, 2012

Well, it’s been a while. I barely have time to scratch myself these days, let alone sit and put finger to keyboard. That makes me sad. But it’s (mostly) a happy kind of busy-ness, so I can’t complain too much.

I have a few spare moments now to share some of my thoughts. They are in no particular order.

Biggest on my mind is a letter I am writing on my sister’s behalf that will hopefully prevent her rowing coach (or former coach, I should say) from bullying her any more. It sickens me to say that this is not the first time she has been bullied, either. What is wrong with some people? My sister – who is 25 years old, owns her own home, works full-time, lives alone and hopes to row for Australia one day soon – is almost totally blind. And unfortunately this puts a great big target on her head saying, “Go ahead, make my life even more difficult than it already is!” She is the strongest person I know, and I sincerely hope the letter we are working on will knock this guy’s socks off – or that someone on the board of the club will do it for him. Then she can move on with her life.

Today I took a sickie with Tiernan. Only, it was a sickie of the non-paying kind which is a bummer. Tiernan had gastro yesterday and I thought it best he stay home and not spread his germs around at preschool today – we’d only end up getting them back. Plus, I needed a mental health day, anyway. This working and being a mum at the same time thing is hard. I am falling behind on so many things that it was wonderful to have a chance to take a breather and catch up, just a little. Tiernan and I even got to do a bit of quality time. We worked together to patch a hole in the fence with bricks and then took our escape-artist dog for a walk in the bush. Nice. One child is soooooooo much easier than three.

I have a huge stash of pirate paraphernalia in my cupboard, threatening to burst forth the very next time I open the door. Only 11 sleeps until Tiernan’s 5th Birthday Party. We’re all dressing up as pirates.

Molly is having lots of trouble with toileting yet again. This time there are poo accidents, too. Lots of poo accidents. I am beginning to suspect there may be more to it than simply taking a long time to toilet train. I feel it may be time to investigate further, but our GP and family health nurse don’t seem to think so. There is always that hesitation, that fear of taking something too seriously, of overreacting and looking like a crazy, hysterical mother. I have to keep reminding myself that I am neither crazy nor hysterical, just concerned, and go ahead and ask for that referral to the paediatrician anyway. What’s the worst that could happen? I could be right and that would mean I did the right thing by asking for more tests to be done. Or, I could be wrong. Which would also be a good thing – no harm done. Right?

Today, Tiernan told me he didn’t want to go to a birthday party we just got invited to. He said he would rather go somewhere a little bit fun, but not too fun. He said he wanted some quiet time to himself at this not-too-fun-place while the rest of us went to the party. It made me laugh.

Tomorrow I am getting up at 4am to accompany my sister to the gym. It’s been ages since I did any early-morning training and I have been looking forward to getting back into it. Sort of. The early mornings are a killer. However, I’m nervous about tomorrow as this bully coach will be there and my main reason for going is that Kate is actually too intimidated to go alone. I think he will stay away. I hope so. We aren’t in any physical danger – there will be other rowers present. But I just don’t want him to come near me. I used to trust him and to learn he is such a slimeball is a huge kick in the guts. I just want this crap to be over. I hope it will be soon.

I can hear Tom and his Dad watching the State of Origin together as I type this. Apparently it’s not going well. Tom is repeating, “Oh shit, oh shit.” I’m laughing because I couldn’t care less who wins.

Well, time to sleep now. I hope that once this letter is done I will have more time (and headspace) to log in here more often. I have much to say, but no time to do it.

UPDATE: I just found out the Blues won after all. All that angst for nothing, Tom!

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