3 under 3

This happened a little while ago, but I didn’t get a chance to post it – it’s been a rather hectic week!

Molly was playing with her dolls, Polly and Baby Jeff. Well actually, Baby Jeff is Tiernan’s – we bought him when we were expecting Molly so that Tiernan could have a baby like Mummy. He wasn’t into it, but now that Molly likes dolls, Tiernan will occasionally claim Baby Jeff from her and take him for a rigorous zoom around the house in the stroller!

Anyway, Molly was playing with Polly and Baby Jeff, which mainly involves putting nappies on them, wrapping them up for bed, putting them to bed and telling everyone to ‘shhhh’, waking them up noisily (she yells “CUP!”, which is ‘wake up’), taking them for walks, feeding them, pushing them on the swing, singing them songs, and asking them if they’re okay (not really sure about that one, but it seems to be important to her!)

Tiernan decided he would join in, and it was lovely to watch the two of them caring for their babies together. Tiernan really got into the role, and spent some time cuddling and rocking Baby Jeff, before reading him a story. I commented that he was being a good Daddy, to which he replied, “I’m not being a Daddy, I’m being a Mummy.” I apologised and amended my statement, and then asked what else Mummies do. His response was, “Mummies put their baby boys to bed and give them a kiss.” He then proceeded to put Baby Jeff to bed. It was very sweet to watch him being so loving, and I thought to myself, “Yep, I taught him that!”

Neave is just the sweetest little thing! She has these gorgeous, really big, blue eyes and she stares at you with such wonder that you really feel like a very special person indeed! It’s never hard to get a smile from her – just walk into her view and say hello. Her brother and sister adore her, and she loves the attention she receives from them (well, most of the time!). At almost 6 months old she is becoming much more mobile – she’ll grab onto anything within her reach and stick it straight into her mouth. She is enjoying her first tastes of solid food (well only rice cereal so far, but it’s early days), but, being a breastfed baby, can’t quite figure out what she’s supposed to do with her sippy cup full of water. She has almost mastered the art of rolling from her back to her front, but is often disappointed with the result since she’s always hated tummy time!

I feel so blessed to have little Neave. She is the baby I thought I’d never have after Molly’s traumatic arrival into the world. I can’t believe that, after having two premature babies, I finally got to walk out of the hospital with my baby in my arms 24 hours after her birth! Many people try to tell mothers that how they ‘get’ their baby isn’t important, as long as the baby is healthy in the end. This is partially true: I was able to get over some of the disappointment and shock that I experienced after both Tiernan and Molly’s births much easier because after it all, I (eventually in Molly’s case), got to take home two, beautiful, healthy babies. However, I still grieved for the small things that I missed out on, that were made impossible by the health risks I faced. Even though I faced the same risks in my pregnancy with Neave, and during her birth, I approached them differently, which enabled me to experience some of the things I had previously missed out on. It seems strange to say this, but I really feel that Neave’s birth helped me to let go of some of the things I’ll never have (like a spontaneous labour), and to be more at peace with what happened in my previous two pregnancies, and why. Of course, that’s not what I was aiming for in having her – in fact I was terrified that her birth would be even earlier and more traumatic than Molly’s. But it is a nice end result. It also means that I don’t ‘need’ to have any more! Although, I think I will always be a clucky person. I guess I’ll just have to learn to live with it.

So Neave will be our ‘youngest’. It will be interesting to see how she will fit in with her brother and sister as she grows. Already there are some aspects of her personality coming through – she is quite relaxed and happy most of the time, and enjoys sitting and observing the world around her. She also loves chatting, cuddling and being tickled. She sometimes gets upset when she’s overtired, and it can be difficult to get her to settle at these times, but she never gets hysterical like Molly used to! Apart from some ongoing minor problems with reflux/colic, and one short stint in hospital with bronchiolitis, it really has been smooth sailing so far with Neave, and I sure hope this continues (touch wood!). We absolutely love Neave to bits, and are so lucky to have her completing our little family. We can’t wait to get to know her more and watch her learn and grow!

Molly has just turned 2, and is suddenly not a baby any more. She is a delightful little girl, who loves to chat, dance and sing, and to be the centre of attention. She, like most toddlers, can be quite moody and fussy – she has a very clear understanding of what she wants, and is determined to get it! I always describe Molly as intense – she is either really, really happy, or really, really NOT happy – and she can go from one to the other very quickly and with very little warning. As a 1-year-old, she threw the most amazing tantrums that often lasted up to an hour and involved much falling to the floor and head-butting of furniture! Since she has started to communicate more effectively now, these are getting less frequent, but still remain part of her repertoire.

Like her brother, Molly also happens to be gorgeous, with amazing, blue eyes and a cheeky smile, complete with dimples! She also stands out as our only blonde child (how surprised were we to get two red-heads!) Despite her volatility, Molly is often very sweet and caring towards others. When Neave cries she lets me know by running to me and saying, “Uh-oh, crying!” She just loves to give Neave kisses at every opportunity.

Molly’s prematurity has caused a slight lag in her speech development, but she is catching up quickly and now chats all day in single words, with a few two- or three-word phrases thrown in. She is eager to please, and is getting very good at listening to instructions and following directions, which makes her very handy to have around when it comes time to pack up the toys! I would have to describe Molly as a ‘girly-girl’ – she is really into hats, shoes, jewelry, babies, Dorothy, Dora, and all things PINK! Don’t ask me where it came from because I used to loathe pink and have never really been much of a ‘girl’ in this sense! I love watching Molly bathe, cuddle and breastfeed her babies, taking them for walks in her stroller and feeding them ‘weet-bix’ (her favourite food). It’s even nicer when Tiernan joins in for short stints and they play together happily. Of course, Molly doesn’t spend all of her time with her dolls – she also occasionally enjoys playing with the train set (Tiernan’s obsession!), and has recently become very good at building tall towers out of Duplo. Another love of hers is reading. Since she could crawl she has been taking books off the bookshelf to read to herself, or with an adult – one of her first words was ‘read’, which is what she says when she presents someone with a book to be read immediately… please!

Molly has always been a bit of a Mummy’s girl, which I have to admit to quite enjoying. I think our very strong bond has in some way made up for the guilt I initially felt for her premature birth and less-than-ideal start to life. I can’t help thinking that she must somehow remember the hours I spent just holding her during her time in hospital, and this is what helped to form our bond. I know I will have to let go of being her favourite person in the world one day, so I’m going to enjoy it while I can! I hope that, no matter what happens in life, we will always be close. Actually, the same goes for all of my children – I don’t have to be their absolute favourite person forever, but one of the top few would be nice!

Part of my motivation for this blog is to take time to reflect on each of my children as individuals. Being so close together in age, there isn’t always a lot of time for me to spend one-on-one with them, but I always try to grab the opportunities that do arise. It’s easy to lump them all together as ‘kids’, ‘toddlers’, ‘babies’, but really it’s already obvious that they each have quite different personalities, which is reflected in the different ways they think about or do things.

Tiernan, my big boy who turned 3 in June, is becoming quite a thinker. He has an amazing memory and often surprises me with the things he says, sometimes about things that happened 6 months ago! He is at the stage where he wants to know the reason for absolutely everything – he would constantly be asking ‘why?’ if he knew the word, but instead he asks ‘what?’ Sometimes it’s incredibly frustrating, and sometimes I struggle to come up with an answer that will both satisfy his curiosity but not confuse him with too much detail. He also has an amazing vocabulary (apart from not picking up on ‘why’ yet!), and I love the convoluted way he expresses himself when he is unsure of the words! He is very loving and affectionate, especially towards his baby sister, Neave (she can’t run away yet!), and I love it when he climbs onto my lap for a cuddle and kiss. I’m trying to soak up all the cuddles I can now, because I know it may not be long before he’s not interested anymore.

Eating, as usual!

Sometimes he is incredibly sweet, saying the most lovely things that just make your heart melt. Last week I was getting ready to have dinner with some friends and was despairing of finding anything nice to wear. I settled on a dress, but felt frumpy and gauche in it, until my beautiful boy said, “Wow, beautiful dress Mummy!” He made my day and I walked out the door with my head held high! Of course, he is no angel – like all kids he is prone to the odd temper tantrum, and he also can get completely over excited and crazy sometimes (almost bouncing off the walls). But he is a sweetheart none the less!

Tiernan is simply gorgeous, with beautiful reddy-blonde hair. His name is Irish and it means ‘Lord’, so perhaps it’s our fault that he can be a bit of a tyrant when it comes to sharing toys/food/space/in fact anything he happens to want. However, that is the toddler/pre-schooler way, and we’ll give him some time to grow out of it!